Monday, July 26, 2004


The Conspiracy of Fates

Have you ever had that? Just when you think your life is going pretty good,
when you've just about got everything under your control, then suddenly Fate
sticks it's oversize boot out from behind a bush and sends you flying - face
down in the dirt?

Well I guess that is what happened to me two weeks ago... arrived back in
Sydney [ all in one piece after a five week trip from Barcelona via Berlin,
London, New York, Minneapolis & Los Angeles ], everything looking good,
looking forward to finding a new apartment, getting all my material goods
out of storage, hooking up with my friends - then WHACK!

I get laid low with really bad abdominal pains, and am unable to do anything
apart from lay down & whinge. At the earliest opportunity i get down to the
medical centre for some help, and the doctor sends me off for a protracted
series of blood and ultrasound tests. These appear to show that i have
several stones in my gall bladder, which are causing me pain by getting
stuck in the exit tube preventing bile [ that breaks down fats in your body
] from escaping.

So he packs me off to the hospital in order to speak to the surgeon in case
I need an operation to whip the offending gall bladder organ, right out of
there. Even in my pained state i begin to think that's a bit extreme. So
St.Vincents Hospital insists on keeping me in overnight for observation and
more tests despite my protestations, to be honest I've heard so many horror
stories about the place from friends I was more nervous about staying there
overnight. However next morning I'm pretty much back to normal, so they feed
me delicious hospital jelly and send me home.

However, not before warning me that I will probably have to lay off fatty
food... forever. No more bacon sandwiches, skimmed instead of full fat milk,
no chocolate, no red meat, chicken without the skin only, Thai food but no
peanut sauce, no cheese, no butter, less beer... Thats all the major food

So for the last ten days I've been in denial, I'm supposed to go back to the
doctors for more tests - but i certainly don't want to do it without being
armed with more information. Surgery indeed, i can't help but think that
there must be some kind of alternative to sharp & cutty instruments, & me
wearing one of those green backless, hospital gowns with my spotty ass
hanging out. Although they say it can be over in two days, keyhole surgery
in & out, i just don't believe them - it's a problem I have with medical
authority. Else where i've been reading about how the surgery doesn't really
achieve anything, and you can be on a drainage drip for two weeks after. To
hell with that!

Just through a cursory flip through the web, I've found out that I can do a
Gall Bladder Flush by drinking a pint of olive oil & lemon juice, which is
supposed to get rid of all the impurities... not pleasant, but has to be
better than going under the blade. [ Thanx N&N ]
Also i'm supposed to eat as many green vegatables, green juices & Spirolena
as i possibly can - funny how they never tell you those things in the
doctor's surgery or in the hospital. I suppose that it's more in their
interests to keep you in the 'slice & dice' system.

Luckily I'm feeling much better now, although I am gagging for a bacon
sandwich and a Mars bar... there's some things apples just cannot beat!

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